How To Be A Good Leader When Things Go Wrong
Sometimes when things go wrong it can just be one thing and it’s manageable to deal with it. At other times it can feel like so much is going wrong all at once that it makes you question yourself and others around you.
Keeping a cool head means keeping your ‘leadership hat’ on during the biggest times of challenge. It can feel like an impossible feat, but when you’ve already pre-decided how you will handle it, it becomes easier to stay grounded and focused.
In my book, Claiming Your Clarity: Becoming Unstoppable In Your Business By Getting Clear and Focused, I refer to the Three Alignment Anchors. They are your mission, vision, and company values. They not only need to be deep and meaningful, they also need to be alive inside your business on a daily basis.
What I mean by ‘deep and meaningful’ is that your mission, vision, and values should be written so strongly as to pull you toward your desired goals, just by thinking about them. When they are fully anchored in your business and in yourself, you go right into clarity mode where you’re able to respond to the needs of the business in the most balanced and functional way.
It’s no coincidence that most problems in a business are tied back to a misalignment with the Three Alignment Anchors. Misalignments cloud everyone’s clarity at all levels of the business, from the business owner to the employees.
I like this Brene Brown quote. I think it’s from Dare to Lead or Daring Greatly:
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
When performance expectations are not clear or aren’t in sync with the Three Alignment Anchors, things will most definitely go wrong. A key difference in how successful leaders lead is found in the difference between how they handle problems. This difference boils down to two options, to react or to respond. Reacting is not the same as responding.
What is Reaction?
Without clarity there is reaction. Reaction can sometimes feel triggered, uncontrolled, or volatile. An explosion is an example of a chemical reaction. When something goes wrong in our business, we can sometimes feel an emotional reaction that feels much like a chemical reaction is going off inside of us. It can feel volatile, and we might be prone to thinking things like, “my employees are so irresponsible to let this happen”, or “why are my customers making unreasonable demands?”. This is what reaction sounds like and it’s clearly dysfunctional because it’s solution focused. Because of this, it can turn an otherwise pleasant and productive environment into a hostile one.
What is Response?
The other option is response. Response is the high-performance option. It’s more balanced and objective than reaction. Response tends to be inquisitive but in a more functional way. The questions are empathetic and solution focused rather than accusatory. Response can sound something like: “how can we improve this?”, or “what system needs to change or improve to avoid this problem?”. Starting with ‘how can we’ or ‘what needs to change’ triggers the mind to start thinking about problem solving. Starting with a complaint or ‘why’ triggers the mind to start thinking about self-defense or deflecting blame.
Here are some response dos and reaction don’ts to consider:
Dos
- Do respond to frustrations, challenges, etc., with curiosity
- Do respond with empathetic curiosity when others are involved
- Do see the oversight, mistake, or transgression as a systems problem rather than a people problem
- Do seek and implement a system solution to avoid it happening again
- Do use the situation as a learning opportunity for you and your team
Don’ts
- Don’t react by exploding
- Don’t criticize or chastise
- Don’t demand correction or compliance
- Don’t jump to conclusions without first gathering more information
- Don’t micromanage the situation
A good resource I can recommend for improving communication skills is Marshall Rosenberg’s book entitled Non-violent Communication. In the book, the author shares insights and real-life examples of how harmonious communication can bridge gaps not only between different communication styles but also between different cultures. Being able to choose our words carefully has a great impact on the outcome of our conversation. This is a great resource tool for leaders needing to get to the bottom of the problems occurring within the business while also avoiding the blame game. When things go wrong, good leaders respond to the situation rather than react to it.
